The Scene- Me playing ‘peek a boo ‘with my eight month old son. Ideal Situation- I am fully engaged in playing my son Reality-In between the game or any other activity that I am doing with my son I intentionally or unintentionally take out my phone and check notifications on Whatsapp or my to do list for the next day. I wish I could say this was an exception and not the norm. I hate to admit but the truth is that I have a lot of trouble staying present and paying undivided attention when I am with my son. I know some of you might not have ever felt this way but I am sure some of us have. How often have we found ourselves so busy with the household stuff or some other important chore that we can’t play with our kids? How often are we engrossed in the fabulous online world while our children long to tell how their day was? How often have we asked our children not to bother us while we are ironically blogging about them? (I am guilty of this .Please don’t judge me) What is the most precious gift we can give to our kids? Undivided loving attention is the most precious gift we can give it to them. The more they get the better they feel. Being present is different from being with your child all the time. It has nothing to do with being a stay at home mom or being a working mom. We all want to be more available, less distracted and more tuned to our children.It sounds easy bur our busy schedules and ever present devices makes it hard to spend uninterrupted time with them. Here are some of the habits and skills that have proven to be helpful to me in being more present with my child. Hope they can be of help to you also.Unplug from technology- Technology has some wonderful benefits. We use it every day. But once in a while we should try to have some special time with our children when we can put our phone away, shut down our laptop, unplug our TV and hide that I pad.Make eye contact with your child - Sometimes when our children are taking to us we are so engrossed in our chores that we just answer them without looking at him . It would be great we decide to pause for a moment and look at them and listen to their words. It is great for the self esteem of the child also.Enjoying what’s happening right now- Yes I know that moms are super busy. There are always some errands that need to be done-the mails need to be answered or dishes in the kitchen need to be cleaned. But we should try to enjoy the moment that we have with our child. Personally I try to remind myself that every moment I spend with my child is special. Slow down- I have noticed that rushing down things triggers me to become more rigid and over controlling. But when I slow down I am much more calm and happy. In turn people around me are also much happier. If we slow down we can savor every moment.Let them be children – How many times we allow our kids to make a mess and live a full life? I enjoy getting on the floor with my son. All kids enjoy playing silly games with their parents and will cherish these special moments than anything else when they grow up. Here is my favourite quote by Thich Nhat Hanh that sums up everything. “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they bloom like flowers.” Undivided loving attention is the single most important gift we can give to our children. Toys, clothes and chocolates bars can be replaced. Children grow up too quickly so let’s enjoy them, get to know them and don’t be a parent who has regrets after your children have grown up!
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