Stop Capturing Your Child's Every Special Moment. Just Enjoy It !

With a new baby there are so many firsts! As you see your baby’s first simile, his first steps, his first words as a parent you want to cheer and capture them right then and there. Finding a way to capture all of your baby’s milestones can be overwhelming. For a sleep deprived mom this becomes even more difficult.  With my seven month old baby I wanted to capture each and every milestone and preserve those special memories. I was so excited to capture every part of my son growing up that I took thousands of pictures in the initial months.
So one day as usual when I noticed he has started rolling over I rushed and tried to make a video of that special moment but missed it by a second.  When my husband returned from the office I apologized to him and told him that I was not able to capture it. “That’s a good thing,” he said. “It probably means you just enjoyed it.”It really hit the right chord somewhere.
As I reflect back I realized I was always on a mission to capture everything.It was not only regarding baby but generally every special event. It seems I always wanted to capture every moment and preserve it forever. But I am not the only one doing that.  If I look around myself everyone is doing it. Then what is the harm?
The problem is that I somehow stopped enjoying that special moment. My desire to capture the moment was actually ruining the moment. I was always playing with my camera, looking for the best angle, viewing the picture and often retaking the shot in an effort to get the “right” photo. To be honest I rarely had the time to look at the photos that I had taken. I think spending time with my son and engaging in his moments today is far more fulfilling than pouring through old photographs. Also sometimes the “result” is artificial.  In life we don’t get to re-do the experiences of our lives. But we try to take our pictures as if we can “get it just right.”
So one fine day I decided not to capture every special moment of my baby. Initially most of the time, as my baby did something new I had the urge to reach for my phone and seize it. I resisted, though, and after an instant of hesitation, I was able to enjoy each event for all its worth. I took it all in-right then and right there. I learnt to enjoy the experience for what it was: a perfect moment.

I know that this time of my baby is special and will go so quickly.  In the blink of an eye, my little bundle of joy will turn into a one year old boy and from there life moves more quickly. I agree it is important to document baby’s precious first year. These are the memories that both the parents and the child are going to treasure for the rest of their lives. But it’s all about striking a right balance .We don’t have to go over board to capture those memories. Sometimes we just need to enjoy those moments . I know that there are parents whose opinion can differ from mine and I wholeheartedly respect that.    

Screen Time Syndrome

On 21st of November as we are celebrating ' World Television Day'  so it  seemed as a perfect opportunity to share something related to Television. These days cell phones, tablets, I pads and computers have also joined television and all this contribute to the screen time our children get. “Screen time" is a term used for activities done in front of a screen, such as watching TV, working on a computer, or playing video games. Screen time is sedentary activity, meaning you are being physically inactive while sitting down. Very little energy is used during screen time.
Screens -a bad baby sitter
I couldn’t write this blog without feeling guilty of the act. I admit,  I too hand over my three year old nephew my smartphone to watch family photographs and nursery rhymes on YouTube.  (Don’t judge me). We all have used TV as a babysitter when   we are running out of time or have to meet our work deadlines.
Change in guidelines by American Pediatric Association
For years, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has adopted an on/off switch mentality when it comes to children and screen time. It used to recommend that children, ages two and under, have absolutely no exposure to screens. For older kids, the AAP recommended limiting ‘screen time’ to just two hours a day. Now, the guidelines have been changed so that they reflect a more nuanced approach.The American Academy of Pediatrics is revising its suggested limits on screen time for kids. The new guidelines do away with these specific numbers, instead tell parents to carefully curate content, get "plugged in" with your kids by playing video games together, and find time to "unplug" with some good old-fashioned playtime.
Disadvantages of too much Screen Time
Apart from age old ill-effects on eyesight there are many other disadvantages of too much screen time.
·  Too much screen time can cause sleep disorders in kids.
·  Studies indicate excess screen time raises risk of attention problems, anxiety and depression in children.
· It raises the  risk of  children gaining too much weight (obesity).Screen time increases your child's risk of obesity because
1.       Sitting and watching a screen is time that is not spent being physically active.
2.       TV commercials and other screen ads can lead to unhealthy food choices. Most of the time, the foods in ads that are aimed at kids are high in sugar, salt, or fats.
3.       Children eat more when they are watching TV, especially if they see ads for food.
·  It is said that children who watch violent TV shows or play violent video games display aggressive behavior.

Some of the tips that has helped me in  limiting the  screen time are - 

1.Teaching kids the 20-20-20 rule- Doctors recommend that every 20 minutes your kids should take a break from looking at their computer screen and focus on an object at least 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds. This is commonly referred to as the 20/20/20 rule.

2.Set a good example- Kids learn by example. We need to evaluate our own media use and set limits. Parents are children’s role model and so if they cannot disconnect, how can they expect their child to disconnect. We need to make sure there is screen free time when it’s family time or while we are having conversations


3.Set Time limits- Banishing Television or screens completely is not feasible but we need to establish time limits.

4.Be conscious of age-appropriateness- We all will agree that what’s OK for 8 isn’t OK for 4. As parents we need to use our judgment and can consult media reviews for reference.

5.Offer fun alternatives - Most of the times children grab a screen because they don’t know what else to do.  We need to provide them other alternatives like books, fun toys, outdoor sport equipment, art and craft material etc.

6.Banish TV in bedrooms-As kids get older, keep media out of their bedroom. When TVs or computers are in their room, kids spend more time using media, and parents are less involved with their choices.

 7.No dinner in front of TV-Dinner is the only meal that most families eat together but sadly in majority of homes television is on during this time. It not only steal time from family conversations but it is also harmful for health.

 8.Spend time with kids—As parents we tend to use television or other screens as baby sitters because we are too busy to spend time our kids (I am also guilty of this). But it is essential that we involve ourselves in their lives and show them that they are important for us to spend time with.

 Parenting is not one- size -fits all solution. Each parent has different opinions and experiences about screen time. There really is no magic number that ‘just right.’ The reality is that we are parents in digital age and our kids are growing in this technology driven world. But as long as there’s a balance, our kids should be just fine as too much of anything is not healthy.