Hey Dad, The Best Father’s Day Gift Is To Quit Smoking

Rahul and Shilpa were often described as the ‘perfect couple’ by their friends and family. They knew each other from the school days and had a beautiful courtship period of ten years before tying the knot. They complemented each other beautifully and after six years of great married life they have really learnt to accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses. After establishing themselves well professionally and spending enough time with each other, they decided to start a family. Both of them wanted to prepare themselves physically, emotionally and mentally for parenthood. They started reading on how to prepare themselves for a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy.

 Shilpa went through a thorough gynaecological check up and reviewed her weight and diet. As her work schedule was over tiring and hectic, she decided to take it a little easy for the coming year. During their preparation, Shilpa stumbled upon an article that stated the ill effects of smoking on growth of unborn child. She was shocked to read that smoking can negatively impact the DNA of the child. She made Rahul also read that article who took it really casually. “All these researches really exaggerate everything. As I smoke only occasionally so it will not have any impact on the health of the child” was Rahul’s point of view.  He argued that his father also used to smoke and he turned out to be really fine.

Rahul’s attitude really irked Shilpa. She never thought Rahul could be so unreasonable. Both of them had a major fight and Shilpa decided to postpone her plan to conceive. They stopped talking to each other. Both of them thought they were right in their own ways. Two weeks passed like this and then on Sunday suddenly they got a surprise visitor at home. It was Avni their common school friend. After school Avni moved to another city for doing her MBBS course. Then she further did her masters in Obstetrics and Gynecology. The three of them were on touch on social media but were meeting each other after many years.

Seeing Avni at their doorstep broke the ice between Rahul and Shilpa. They welcomed her warmly and in no time they were their usual self. The three of them chatted endlessly for hours as they had so much to catch up. Avni mentioned about her professional life also. She mentioned how she counsels expectant parents about pregnancy and especially fathers as they think they have no significant role to play in bringing a new life to the world. She shared her experience how much counseling a father required to believe the fact that his habit of smoking can impact the health of his unborn child. He only understood when she made him read about a lot of case studies in this matter.

Both Rahul and Shilpa were listening to Avni attentively. Something moved inside Rahul and he looked into Shilpa’s eyes. They understood the unsaid. Next one year was really testing for both of them as with Shilpa’s constant support and encouragement Rahul addressed his addiction really well. The journey was not easy as it sounds to be but Rahul was doing it for someone special – his unborn child, his loving wife and most of it for himself. He learnt to cope with the withdrawal symptoms and found other healthier ways to manage his moods. There were days when Rahul’s brain used to play tricks and thoughts like “just one cigarette” used to come in his mind. But he never felt into the trap.

 And then Rahul’s struggle paid. It was the third Sunday of June, a day world celebrates as ‘Father’s Day’. Shilpa woke him excitedly. Rahul rubbed his eyes and couldn’t believe what he saw. He has never been so happy. There were two pink lines on the detection card of the Prega News Pregnancy Kit. As Shilpa had missed her periods a week ago, she had decided to buy this kit as her friends have told her that the test results of Prega News are accurate.

Both Shilpa and Rahul hugged each other.  They have gifted each other and their unborn child the best Father’s Day gift ever possible! Rahul’s phone beeped, it was a video forwarded by Avni. Tears welled up in his eyes, as the video was about the initiative by No.1 brand Prega News, #QuitBeforeYouStart .On the occasion of Father’s Day they are urging all fathers to take the pledge to quit smoking before planning a family.

Let’s be a part of their wonderful initiative and give our future generation a healthy and conducive environment to grow.

https://www.preganews.com/fathers-day/?utm_source=lyxel&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=fathersday

Image Courtesy: Shutterstock  

Dear Patanjali Products, ‘Dark Complexion’ is not a skin ailment!

Our country’s obsession with fair complexion is no secret. Fair skin has always been the desire of people since ages and has been associated with beauty. “Let’s scrub out that tan” is a common refrain in beauty parlours in India, where girls grow up with constant reminders that only fair skin is beautiful. From Sunday classified ads looking for “a fair good looking girl’’ to neighbourhood aunties advising saffron paste to “maintain the complexion”, the  subtle sign are  present everywhere. This obsession of white skin has given a golden opportunity to the cosmetics and FMCG companies to heavily bank on it.   Our top most celebrities like Shah Rukh Khan,Hrithik Roshan  Aishwarya Rai,  Sonam Kapoor , John Abraham have millions of fans looking upto them and all have the dubious honour of endorsing a skin lightening product.     Though skin fairness products are widely used worldwide, their excessive consumption is mostly found from the Asian and African countries.

Today , the consumers can find a wide range of fairness products; fairness creams, fairness soaps, fairness face washes -- all that promise to make our "dark" faces, knees, elbows, and other parts of the body multiple shades fairer. Some of the popular ones are Fair & Lovely, Fairever, L’Oreal, Olay and Neutrogena. Continuing with the trend, in a new low, a company which promised to be different from the rest of the lot- ‘Patanjali’ fueled  the very thought while marketing their "Beauty Cream" by calling ‘dark complexion’ as a skin ailment. In an ad published in Deccan Chronicle on 17th December, Patanjali, advertised their "Beauty Cream" to heal dry skin, wrinkles, and dark complexion. The product claims to heal and give you the confidence of 100% natural beauty. And a careful look at the ad, shows how products from other MNCs "are full of chemicals while Patanjali products are "natural"!

Is it not sad? A company that swears by everything that is ‘swadeshi’ is   propagating an idea about ‘fair skin’ which was a gift handed down to us by British. As for calling ‘dark complexion’ as a ‘skin ailment’ is so ironic as leaving a few regions, most of us have wheatish to dusky complexion. This type of advertising is really irresponsible.

Beauty is definitely beyond colour. It's time  as a nation we  raise our voice against these brands and let them know that  every shade of skin tone is beautiful. Real change can come  when majority of the citizens let go their light skin fetish and cherish their own skin colour. Advertisements which promote  colourism equality and showcase the idea that being darker will not stop anyone from achieving their dreams.Also as parents we need to educate our children on the importance of striving to be comfortable in their own bodies.

This world be surely be a better place if we all our  comfortable in our own skin and realise that there is more to life than skin colour. 

Mommy Meltdown Moments- Moms, Can You Relate?

Being a mom is wonderful! There are so many beautiful moments and then there are some not so beautiful moments. Like life, motherhood is also not a bed of roses. Once in a while we all lose our control with our kids! Yes, we all have been there! Occasionally we all have a meltdown .We all yell, cry and scream at our kids! Here is a funny take on some common mommy meltdowns moments that really make us think “I just can’t deal with him/her now”

1.   To Pee Or Not To Pee- You ask your toddler a zillion times if she needs to use the potty before you leave home, and you only get no’s and yet when you are midway between home and destination, she cannot hold and really needs to go RIGHT NOW.

2.   No One Seems To Be Listening- You have asked your little munchkin to pick up the toys that few minutes back you just organized. In between you requested your husband to open the door as the bell has is ringing. There are umpteen tasks that needs to be done; the dinner needs to be cooked, the laundry needs to be done and much more. And what happens? Your requests go completely unnoticed.  Are you invisible? Now you have completely given up!

3.   Bed Time Madness-Only moms know what bed time actually means. It means reading the same story again and again for hours along with patting your little one’s back and when you think you are almost done then the kiddo start feeling hungry!  And then again the vicious cycle of going to the washroom and brushing the teeth begins.You look at the clock, think about the morning chores and try to control yourself

4.   All Eyes on You- The more public a place, the longer the tantrum .In the month of December the little angel suddenly wants a chocolate ice-cream at the grocery store. She will not take a ‘NO’ for an answer. And the mom in you is not giving up so easily. So she is going to yell, scream, and howl and much more. Everyone at the store is looking at you. These are the time when you wish you were ‘Mr.India’.

5.   That Important Phone Call- The children will get up to their naughtiest shenanigans when you are on that ‘one important call’. You are talking to your boss and the hyperactive brat suddenly does something which makes you momentarily forget that you are on the phone. You scream loudly ‘Stop that right now’ at the person who is going to decide about your next promotion.

6.    Step into the Shower- The baby is finally sleeping! You gather all your stuff like a mouse, silently and head to the washroom to take a shower. Step into the shower and as the first drop of water hit you; you hear the baby wake up and start to wail.

7.   That One Moment- Like a hawk you watch them all the time. But the one time, you turn away, you blink your eye for that one little second and the disaster is done. That expensive cutlery is broken. And the worse she has hurt herself.

8.   Mama Wants to Watch TV- After winding up all the chores of the stressful hard day mama collapsed in front of the Idiot box. But the ‘On’ button of the remote activates the sleeping baby also. Is it just a coincidence?

9.   The Morning Blues- The alarm clock rings and really hits you. It’s time for the daily madness. The children are fighting over the bathroom, the toast is burnt, you are all rushed and irritable-and, to top it all off, your kids miss the bus! Definitely not a good start to the day.

10.   The Quiet Toddler- Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. You are super happy that your toddler has been quietly entreating herself for the whole half an hour. You decide to give her that candy. And then you see is happily busy drawing all over the furniture in the next room.

A perfect mom, who is calm and is in control 24/7, surely doesn’t exist. There is no one right way to deal with these mommy meltdown moments. Each day, in our own capacity we are doing our best to navigate the delicate trade off –between keeping the peace and retaining our sanity. Whether you find yourself having a meltdown every day or once a year, you are not a bad mom. Sometimes those meltdowns are necessary. They remind our children that adults are also not perfect and they also struggle with their feelings, just as kids do. 

Some Smart Tips to Use Your Phone Less

It’s a brand new year again! And 2018 seems to be a perfect opportunity to change some of the habits and try to live a more productive and happy life.

Scanning the phone as a first thing in the morning after waking up and last thing before hitting the sack, constantly checking notifications, getting engulfed in web of social media, answering texts or calls while having food with family or friends, being available 24 hours, getting uncomfortable when the phone is out of sight– all these are subtle signs that our digital life is killing our real life.  

The social media boom has happened and is   driving the pace of our lives beyond our capacity to cope. There is a reason why every child wants to grab their parent’s phone. By observing us, they are getting a sense of how important a mobile phone is. It’s high time we stand up again this addiction and try to create a healthier relationship with technology.

So, here I am sharing some simple and smart tricks which helped me immensely in maintaining self control and beating my phone addiction:   

1.Not using phone in the bed- Removing all gadgets  out of the bedroom is the ideal situation as electronic devices such as laptop and phones emit blue light which can trick our brain into thinking that it’s still daytime and making it tougher for us to fall asleep. If cannot do that then like me, at least stop sleeping within arm’s length of them as it helps kicking the temptation to check the screen. And using the good old alarm clock for waking up is not a bad option.

2.  Deleting unnecessary apps - Our smartphone would be useless without having any apps but too many of them can also be problematic. Personally I like  declutter  my   phone every month by removing anything either  I rarely use or had completely forgotten about .This not only free up space on my  phone but  also improves  the  handset’s battery life and enable me to get a tighter grip on my personal data.

3.Turn off notifications-For me sometimes checking a single notification turned out into a half-hour session of phone browsing. I am sure that I am not alone! It’s all too easy to get sucked into the social media world through one alert. Disabling all unnecessary notifications and muting most of the Whatsapp groups have helped me ending that impulse to check my phone whenever it chirps.

4.Phone Free Periods in a day-At our home both my husband and me try our level best that we don’t use our phone at the dinner table,   while playing with our son or reading a book. Putting the phone on Airplane Mode can really help in getting some quality  family time

    5.Monitor the phone usage- If all the above mentioned steps seem to be failing then some hard statistics are surely going to help you. Apps like ‘Moment’, ‘Quality Time’ and ‘Space’   helps in letting you know about the smartphone usage habits. And my experience tells that the brutal truth can be really tough to acknowledge, but definitely serves as a good warning.

Let 2018 be a starting point to kick your phone addiction and aim towards a healthy mind and soul.

Stop Capturing Your Child's Every Special Moment. Just Enjoy It !

With a new baby there are so many firsts! As you see your baby’s first simile, his first steps, his first words as a parent you want to cheer and capture them right then and there. Finding a way to capture all of your baby’s milestones can be overwhelming. For a sleep deprived mom this becomes even more difficult.  With my seven month old baby I wanted to capture each and every milestone and preserve those special memories. I was so excited to capture every part of my son growing up that I took thousands of pictures in the initial months.
So one day as usual when I noticed he has started rolling over I rushed and tried to make a video of that special moment but missed it by a second.  When my husband returned from the office I apologized to him and told him that I was not able to capture it. “That’s a good thing,” he said. “It probably means you just enjoyed it.”It really hit the right chord somewhere.
As I reflect back I realized I was always on a mission to capture everything.It was not only regarding baby but generally every special event. It seems I always wanted to capture every moment and preserve it forever. But I am not the only one doing that.  If I look around myself everyone is doing it. Then what is the harm?
The problem is that I somehow stopped enjoying that special moment. My desire to capture the moment was actually ruining the moment. I was always playing with my camera, looking for the best angle, viewing the picture and often retaking the shot in an effort to get the “right” photo. To be honest I rarely had the time to look at the photos that I had taken. I think spending time with my son and engaging in his moments today is far more fulfilling than pouring through old photographs. Also sometimes the “result” is artificial.  In life we don’t get to re-do the experiences of our lives. But we try to take our pictures as if we can “get it just right.”
So one fine day I decided not to capture every special moment of my baby. Initially most of the time, as my baby did something new I had the urge to reach for my phone and seize it. I resisted, though, and after an instant of hesitation, I was able to enjoy each event for all its worth. I took it all in-right then and right there. I learnt to enjoy the experience for what it was: a perfect moment.

I know that this time of my baby is special and will go so quickly.  In the blink of an eye, my little bundle of joy will turn into a one year old boy and from there life moves more quickly. I agree it is important to document baby’s precious first year. These are the memories that both the parents and the child are going to treasure for the rest of their lives. But it’s all about striking a right balance .We don’t have to go over board to capture those memories. Sometimes we just need to enjoy those moments . I know that there are parents whose opinion can differ from mine and I wholeheartedly respect that.    

Screen Time Syndrome

On 21st of November as we are celebrating ' World Television Day'  so it  seemed as a perfect opportunity to share something related to Television. These days cell phones, tablets, I pads and computers have also joined television and all this contribute to the screen time our children get. “Screen time" is a term used for activities done in front of a screen, such as watching TV, working on a computer, or playing video games. Screen time is sedentary activity, meaning you are being physically inactive while sitting down. Very little energy is used during screen time.
Screens -a bad baby sitter
I couldn’t write this blog without feeling guilty of the act. I admit,  I too hand over my three year old nephew my smartphone to watch family photographs and nursery rhymes on YouTube.  (Don’t judge me). We all have used TV as a babysitter when   we are running out of time or have to meet our work deadlines.
Change in guidelines by American Pediatric Association
For years, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has adopted an on/off switch mentality when it comes to children and screen time. It used to recommend that children, ages two and under, have absolutely no exposure to screens. For older kids, the AAP recommended limiting ‘screen time’ to just two hours a day. Now, the guidelines have been changed so that they reflect a more nuanced approach.The American Academy of Pediatrics is revising its suggested limits on screen time for kids. The new guidelines do away with these specific numbers, instead tell parents to carefully curate content, get "plugged in" with your kids by playing video games together, and find time to "unplug" with some good old-fashioned playtime.
Disadvantages of too much Screen Time
Apart from age old ill-effects on eyesight there are many other disadvantages of too much screen time.
·  Too much screen time can cause sleep disorders in kids.
·  Studies indicate excess screen time raises risk of attention problems, anxiety and depression in children.
· It raises the  risk of  children gaining too much weight (obesity).Screen time increases your child's risk of obesity because
1.       Sitting and watching a screen is time that is not spent being physically active.
2.       TV commercials and other screen ads can lead to unhealthy food choices. Most of the time, the foods in ads that are aimed at kids are high in sugar, salt, or fats.
3.       Children eat more when they are watching TV, especially if they see ads for food.
·  It is said that children who watch violent TV shows or play violent video games display aggressive behavior.

Some of the tips that has helped me in  limiting the  screen time are - 

1.Teaching kids the 20-20-20 rule- Doctors recommend that every 20 minutes your kids should take a break from looking at their computer screen and focus on an object at least 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds. This is commonly referred to as the 20/20/20 rule.

2.Set a good example- Kids learn by example. We need to evaluate our own media use and set limits. Parents are children’s role model and so if they cannot disconnect, how can they expect their child to disconnect. We need to make sure there is screen free time when it’s family time or while we are having conversations


3.Set Time limits- Banishing Television or screens completely is not feasible but we need to establish time limits.

4.Be conscious of age-appropriateness- We all will agree that what’s OK for 8 isn’t OK for 4. As parents we need to use our judgment and can consult media reviews for reference.

5.Offer fun alternatives - Most of the times children grab a screen because they don’t know what else to do.  We need to provide them other alternatives like books, fun toys, outdoor sport equipment, art and craft material etc.

6.Banish TV in bedrooms-As kids get older, keep media out of their bedroom. When TVs or computers are in their room, kids spend more time using media, and parents are less involved with their choices.

 7.No dinner in front of TV-Dinner is the only meal that most families eat together but sadly in majority of homes television is on during this time. It not only steal time from family conversations but it is also harmful for health.

 8.Spend time with kids—As parents we tend to use television or other screens as baby sitters because we are too busy to spend time our kids (I am also guilty of this). But it is essential that we involve ourselves in their lives and show them that they are important for us to spend time with.

 Parenting is not one- size -fits all solution. Each parent has different opinions and experiences about screen time. There really is no magic number that ‘just right.’ The reality is that we are parents in digital age and our kids are growing in this technology driven world. But as long as there’s a balance, our kids should be just fine as too much of anything is not healthy.

Undivided loving attention – the most precious gift we can give it to our kids

The Scene- Me playing ‘peek a boo ‘with my eight month old son. Ideal Situation- I am fully engaged in playing my son Reality-In between the game or any other activity that  I am doing with my son  I  intentionally or unintentionally take out my phone and check notifications on Whatsapp or  my to do list for the next day. I wish I could say this was an exception and not the norm. I hate to admit but the truth is that I have a lot of trouble staying present and paying undivided attention when I am with my son. I know some of you might not have ever felt this way but I am sure some of us have. How often have we found ourselves so busy with the household stuff or some other important chore that we can’t play with our kids?  How often are we engrossed in the fabulous online world while our children long to tell how their day was? How often have we asked our children not to bother us while we are ironically blogging about them? (I am guilty of this .Please don’t judge me) What is the most precious gift we can give to our kids?  Undivided loving attention is the most precious gift we can give it to them. The more they get the better they feel. Being present is different from being with your child all the time.  It has nothing to do with being a stay at home mom or being a working mom. We all want to be more available, less distracted and more tuned to our children.It sounds easy bur our busy schedules and ever present devices makes it hard to spend uninterrupted time with them. Here are some of the habits and skills that have proven to be helpful to me in being more present with my child. Hope they can be of help to you also.Unplug from technology- Technology has some wonderful benefits. We use it every day. But once in a while we should try to have some special time with our  children  when we can put our  phone away, shut  down our laptop, unplug our TV and hide that I pad.Make eye contact with your child -  Sometimes when  our   children are   taking to us  we are   so engrossed in our chores that we just answer  them  without looking at him . It would be great we  decide to pause for a moment  and   look at them and listen to their words.  It is great for the self esteem of the child also.Enjoying what’s happening right now- Yes I know that moms are super busy. There are always some errands that need to be done-the mails need to be answered or dishes in the kitchen need to be cleaned. But  we should try to enjoy  the moment that  we have with our child. Personally I try to remind myself that every moment I spend with my child is special. Slow down- I have noticed that rushing down things triggers me to become more rigid and over controlling. But when I slow down I am much more calm and happy. In turn people around me are also much happier. If we slow down we can savor every moment.Let them be children – How many times we allow our kids to make a mess and live a full life?  I enjoy getting on the floor  with  my son. All kids enjoy playing silly games with their parents and will cherish these special moments than anything else when they grow up. Here is my favourite quote by Thich Nhat Hanh that sums up everything.  “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they bloom like flowers.” Undivided loving attention is the single most important gift we can give to our children. Toys, clothes and chocolates bars can be replaced. Children grow up too quickly so let’s enjoy them, get to know them and don’t be a parent who has regrets after your children have grown up!